I am a Yid. I like to rock. Veitur!

- [ Wednesday, May 04, 2005 ] -
Let's talk about toes
Within the last few years, it has come to my attention that flip-flops are worn as shoes. I've come to accept this, mostly without complaining. I'm at least 15% hippie myself and I don't care if someone wants to walk around barefoot. And if they manage to make it acceptable even in business situations--even better!

There is a new shoe-substitute that has infiltrated us. I like to call it the "bag of toes."

I'm all for people being lazy with footwear. I'm all for people wearing pajamas and beachwear to work. I don't mind flip-flops (even though they are not shoes) because at least, the feet are no less attractive than if they had been barefoot. Usually, the flip-flop is even complimentary to the display of the foot.

This mesh Chinese sandal is the worst display of feet I have ever seen, reducing even the cutest toes to an unGodly pile, mashed into a corner and prominently displayed. It looks like a bag of toes. I'm sorry to insult members of my family, and friends, but I am trying to save you. Worn barefoot, it's simply displaying your toes in a bag. Bag of toes. Bag of toes.

See the picture of the sandals? I found it online. Notice they're not being worn in the picture. I tried to find a nice pic with the sandal being worn. But you know what? Anyone trying to sell these "shoes" isn't stupid enough to take a picture with the toes visible in it.

As I seem to recall, these Chinese slippers have been worn by the Chinese and other Oriental nations, for longer than I can remember. These aren't new. The difference is that they have always been worn with socks.

Unfortunately, the new Westernized-fad version of this footwear doesn't include socks.

Please don't wear or encourage the wearing of the Bag of Toes. No matter what kind of goofy flowers are glued on or how bedazzled it is with rhinestones, it's not cute to see toes smashed up in a pile.

Thank you and enjoy your summer footwear season.

Perhaps they're not super-attractive, but they are both comfortable and slightly fancier, so appropriate with more outfits. (For instance, I wouldn't wear flip flops to shul, but I would wear Chinese slippers.) So there. Sorry, I get slightly defensive when people knock my shoes ;) Though i do own many more pairs of flip flops than chinese slippers and am partial to flip flops as well...

You aren't even disagreeing with me that they're unattractive.

Bag of toes.

Does it matter? I'll tell you what's attractive footwear: four-inch pointy stilettos. They're beautiful and they look great on, I own a pair or two. But if I had to wear them everday, my feet would be cut-up and disgusting and in soooo much pain. Sometimes you just gotta do what's comfy, though I don't think they're quite as unattractive as you make em out to be either.

I can't debate your NYC fashion sense, but we both know there are comfortable and fashionable shoes for women.

Send us a picture of your smashed up toes in a Chinese slipper and the interweb will decide if it's attractive.

Send me a picture of comfortable and fashionable shoes for women that cost under 5 bucks and that you can buy in enough colors to match all your outfits.

I guess you're stuck. You only have whatever it was you wore two years ago before the trend.

Wear whatever you want. Bag of toes.

I don't know what the world would do without you, Velvel!

Thanks for keeping us safe from ugly bags of toes!

Keep fighting the good fight!

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