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I am a Yid. I like to rock. Veitur!

- [ Thursday, May 06, 2004 ] -
 
JM abuses of the words "classic," "selling fast" and "truth"
An excellent addition to the world of Shiny-Shoe clones was brought to my attention today [thanks to BlogInDm and also MO-C for more commentary on the subject]. When I say "excellent" I mean an excellent example of uninspired commercial conformity in a suit. I listened to his song samples and have found nothing special in them. They all sounded very familiar, like I heard every bit before. But it's the clear abuse of language, implying his lack of respect for his possible, future audience that bugs the crap out of me.

The original quote from the singer's website is, "As you probably have heard, my debut album hit the stores on Lag B'Omer and has B"H been selling fast."

Things wrong with this sentence:
  • "probably have heard" - from where exactly?
  • "hit the stores on Lag B'Omer" - it's not Lag B'Omer, yet. G-d only knows how long ago he wrote that.
  • "selling fast" - apparently so fast that the rules of time and space don't apply to him

  • But I'm sure he has the numbers to back him up...let's ask him!

    I submitted a comment to him this morning on his site that resulted in the following e-mail exchange:
    From: velvel@....
    To: Yumi@...

    When was Lag B'Omer?
    Your album must have sold out really fast, just like you said, because I can't find it.
    --------------------
    From: Yumi@....
    To: velvel@...

    Hi Velvel!
    Haha - thanks for you email!!
    Well - I guess I put the site up a few days early...
    But in [sic] will be in stores today/tomorrow.
    Regards
    Yumi
    --------------------
    From: velvel@....
    To: Yumi@...

    In all seriousness, you don't feel any problem with lying about sales?
    --------------------
    From: Yumi@....
    To: velvel@...

    Truth is I have sold quite a few allready [sic] today in Australia!!
    So it's true!!
    --------------------
    From: velvel@....
    To: Yumi@...

    The "truth is" you wrote that sentence before Lag B'Omer and before you sold a single CD.
    I'm not sure what you think the "truth is" and the fact that you might have sold more than one CD in Australia (possibly to a bookstore?) isn't really the message you are saying on your website.
    --------------------
    From: Yumi@....
    To: velvel@...

    Oy Velvel....
    Let's just say... we'll leave it right here....
    iy"h it will sell well... yes I should have waited a few days to write that...
    "selling fast" is a very vague term anyway...
    Hope you actually buy one!!!
    Let me know what you think of it!!!
    Regards
    Yumi
    "Selling fast" is indeed a "vague term." "Selling" implies that it's being sold at this moment. "Fast," a qualifier of speed, requires two things: an amount of something to be sold and some length of time in order to measure the rate.

    Another vague word might be "classic." Here is a quote on his site about his new (or about-to-be new) album:"Torah Harbeh - Yumi's Debut album - is a classic album with 10 original commercial songs."

    Things that are amusing in this sentence:
  • "classic" - I think this word is usually associated with time spent being appreciated.
  • "commercial" - commercial? That's supposed to be a selling point?

  • Yumi, congratulations on your classic, commercial album that is already a top-seller around the world, after being on sale for only a short time of negative three days.

    UPDATE: The Yumi website now has a couple unnoted, stealth corrections.

    On Friday, May 7th, this was noticed. The offending sentence:
    As you probably have heard, my debut album hit the stores on Lag B'Omer and has B"H been selling fast.
    has been replaced with
    As you probably have heard, my debut album hit the stores for Lag B'Omer and has B"H been selling fast. (In Australia at least - we are ahead in time you know!)
    Note the word "on" changed to "for" and the addition of a few hours padded by a timezone difference.

    The second change, I noticed on Sunday, May 9th. On the album page, the first sentence used to read:
    Torah Harbeh - Yumi's Debut album - is a classic album with 10 original commercial songs.
    This is the current, more tasteful edit:
    Torah Harbeh - Yumi's Debut album - features 10 original chassidic songs.
    I hope I'm not the only one proofreading that site.

    UPDATE (5/10): The content of the intro-letter on the front page is very dynamic and can change at any time. Especially when I write about it. I will post no more corrections here. However, if I see any more outrageous claims, I will let you know.